Finding Brugge

Ecrire la vie ordinaire comme on ecrit l'histoire ~ Gustave Flaubert

New Year, Old Quest

If you read my about page, you will get a sense of my lifelong quest to find Brugge in my every day life. The categories here encapsulate the places that I find Brugge each day.

One of the elements that has been missing in my life is time devoted to creative pursuits. I have an artist screaming inside me. I usually have to push her aside to deal with the routines of life as a wife, mother and worker. By the end of the day, when dinner rolls around and my soul desperately wants to embrace cooking as an artistic endeavor, the rest of me is too damn tired and reverts to food as fuel, not as art.

Same goes for crafting and home decorating ideas. I have notebooks full of ideas and not one but two Pinterest accounts and a Tumblr account to keep track of the inspirational things I find.

I find those to be both a source of joy AND a source of stress. I love feasting my eyes and soul on such beauty. And yet I feel stress, and guilt, each time I place an inspiration there because the artist in me screams, “Yeah, that’s cool, but when are you going to let me DO IT!”

Because most days start like today. Up at 6:15. Dogs fed and let out. Cats fed. First shout to the kids to get them up. Make lunches for the kids (and no PB&J….another of my areas of guilt is trying to live up to the Pinterest supermom lunches). Either empty the dishwasher or fill it because someone forgot to do their chores the night before. Another shout to the kids. Get the kids to school. It is now 7:30 and I have a small space of time before I need to get on the computer for work. Laundry…either starting a load and folding or getting it put away. By the end of most days 2 to 3 loads of laundry have gone through my hands in one stage or another. Take a quick walk around the house to pick up crap strewn about, curse the children slightly when I find homework, half-full pop cans and dirty socks EVERYWHERE. Sweep…because with 4 pets, I grow a new one in dust bunnies every single day.

Yes the kids should be lessoning the burden, but I am neurotic…I can’t wait until after school to start riding them.

8:30…work day begins and it is so full, most days I forget to eat lunch. This goes non-stop until 5 and the cries of “What’s for dinner” followed usually by groans begins. By 7, after dinner and riding the kids for chores, I am drained, exhausted and want to do little more than watch tv and fall into bed.

Where in all of that chaos can I possibly find Brugge? The Brugge of food as art, not fuel. Homemaking is truly making a home, not just drudgery. Delving in a soul soothing craft project seems more draining than infusing.

How do I make this cycle stop?

This year, 2013, the journey begins. I hope you will join me in finding Brugge.

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This entry was posted on January 3, 2013 by .

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